


Twelve Years

by Swine



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Each chapter is a bit short, Jeremy's Mother is not a very good person, M/M, Michael's parents are never there, mentions of abuse, not that bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 19:16:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11363880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swine/pseuds/Swine
Summary: Michael and Jeremy have spent twelve very long years together. Some times may leave them discouraged and distraught, but they always have each other, and they both couldn't have asked for more. Each chapter is an event that takes place in the boy's lives. Kind of a short story.





	1. Year One

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter may be a bit short, in which I apologize! I never intended to post this, but something gave me the idea to, so here we are. It's one in the morning over here, but it's whatever I suppose. Try to have fun!

They met when they were four.

Jeremy and his parents had moved to Middleborough, New Jersey in a quiet neighborhood, or at least the quietest neighborhood New Jersey could provide. Mr. Heere was desperate for a new job. The bills for rent were getting higher as each of his paydays seemed more distant. His mother didn't like the concept of New Jersey whatsoever; suggested something like Pennsylvania or Maine. His father, however, strove for anything cheap. He aimed for the best job with the cheapest house for sale. Somehow, New Jersey fit those standards, and so there the Heere family was, standing in front of their new home.

Jeremy ran into the house, immediately trying to find his room. He knew the furniture hadn't arrived yet, but he still wanted to see the size of his new bedroom. His father sluggishly followed him upstairs and set up a sleeping bag for his son. He suggested that Jeremy should sleep mainly because it was getting late, but partly because he didn't feel like taking care of him after the long and tiring drive. Surprisingly, he passed out within minutes. 

Jeremy didn't care about where he lived. He really just wanted to talk to someone. Anyone. He really just wanted to make a friend! His mother, however, didn't want any of that. Friends were too much work, and she didn't like the idea of a child coming over for "playdates" or having to meet other parents. Still, knowing how talkative Jeremy was, it was probably inevitable. That's why she heaved a small sigh when she was driving her son to his new preschool the very next day.

The boy was staring out the car window, excitedly trying to spot the school. He'd point to a building and ask if that was the preschool, but his mother always replied with a monotonic no. She learned that if she had simply ignored him, he would stop asking. Finally, the car started to slow to a stop, and he had started to flap his hands in excitement. He quickly hopped out the car and stared at the building.

The preschool was relatively smaller than the one back in his hometown. It also seemed duller and less colorful, which seemed to be a reoccurring theme in New Jersey, but Jeremy hadn't acknowledged it, or if he did he did he chose to ignore it. He turned to ask his mother to walk him in, but she had already drove off. Jeremy had shrugged it off and walked in there himself. Of course, he got lost in the hallways, but he eventually met with a nice woman who directed him to the playroom.

The room he was standing in seemed to be the biggest in the building, but very few students seemed to attend. There were only a few scattered around the room, around ten. There was a colorful rug in the middle of the room with a large table on top of it. A dirty light tan colored the walls with scratch marks and messy colorful scribbles of crayon on top. Crayons and blocks littered the floor, but no one seemed to bother picking them up.

He saw children playing with building blocks near the middle of the room, some girls playing with each other's hair, and a boy doodling on a piece of paper in the corner. The preschool staff greeted Jeremy at the door with their typical fake polite voice you would except someone working at a preschool to have, and introduced him to all the activities he was able to do. He really just wanted to talk to the kids.

He walked over to the five girls and tried to introduce himself. One of the girls let the other four fiddle and braid her light brown hair.

"Hullo!" He said. The group of girls looked at each other and giggled.

"We can't talk to you!" Says one of the girls.

"Why not?" Jeremy asks.

"You're a boy!" Says another.

"So?" The girls had giggled again, but then quickly began to hush each other, and started to ignore him. Jeremy didn't understand what the girls were talking about, but figured that they were a lost cause as he started to head toward the group of kids. Most of the students who attended the class were huddled around a big stack of bricks. It was wobbling, but it still stood tall.

"You're new." Says one of the boys reaching for another building block. The boy had a blue and white striped shirt with neatly combed brown hair. Jeremy was worried that the tower was going to fall, but he didn't want to say anything. "What's your name?"

"Jeremy!" He said. "Can I help?"

"No."

"Oh." Jeremy said quietly. He simply stood a bit awkwardly, watching the group of kids have fun and build their large tower. Without him of course. He watched as the kids talked to one another and tried to unevenly stack the bricks. He stepped back as the tower fell and all of the students giggled. He only felt a bit left out.

Jeremy caught a glance of the kid in the corner. The child was staring at him, his large glasses glimmering in the light, but panicked at the eye contact, and quickly looked away. The glasses seemed too big for his face, the thick black plastic rims constantly being pushed back to his nose. Jeremy walked over.

The boy saw him coming, and tried to hide his drawing from Jeremy, only making his back visible. He could only make out his brown and messy hair, but thats about it. It reminded Jeremy of cotton candy. He liked it!

"Hi!" Said Jeremy. The boy glanced back at him, but said nothing as he turned back and continued to draw. Jeremy desperately wanted a new friend. He always saw kids on tv shows talking about the magic of friendship, but he could never make any himself. "What'cha drawing?" He hadn't replied. His smile slowly faded. Jeremy figured it was too good to be true. He rubbed his arm awkwardly as he started to walk away.

"Transformers." He mumbled. Jeremy turned around.

"Whoa! You watch that show too?" The boy seemed a bit taken aback that Jeremy knew about it, or even heard him at all, but he quickly turned around and nodded. "My favorite's Bumblebee, but Optimus Prime is awesome too!"

"...I really like Optimus Prime too!" He replied hesitantly. "I've never met somebody who likes that show too."

"It was real popular over where I lived n'stuff!" Jeremy explained. "One of the kids that I knew had a Transformers lunchbox."

"That sounds awesome!" He finally gave a smile. "Um. Your name is... Jeremy, right?"

"Yeah! What's yours?"

"Michael."

"Well, I'm Jeremy!" He said. "Oh wait you know that." They both giggled, and Michael moved so that Jeremy could sit down. He joined Michael on the floor to help finish the picture.

Later, Jeremy would go home and tell his parents of the new friend he made at preschool. His mother rolled her eyes.


	2. Year Eight

He fell in love with him when they were twelve.

It was during the summer, both Michael and Jeremy would be going to eighth grade. Although they were thankful for the summer break, neither of them stood a chance in the harsh sun; Jeremy especially.

Jeremy's air conditioner was broken, so Michael always asked him to come over. The answer was almost always yes. Jeremy's mother found it to be a relief that Michael had offered to take his son to his house rather than vice versa. She didn't care for his son's friend, and would rather not take care of her son at all if she didn't have to. This gave her time to do whatever she wanted to, without having to worry about her son's death.

Jeremy always found it a bit peculiar that Michael's parents were almost always never home, but he reassured him that they do indeed stay and pay their taxes and whatever adults do. They were just always busy with business trips and fun stuff like that. He never really questioned it. Michael seemed to know how to take care of himself.

Michael was laying in bed, bored out of his mind at around 7 in the afternoon, until he had heard a knock from the door and bounced with excitement. Jeremy came over almost every other day, but it was always nice to have some company over. The days alone could get a bit lonely sometimes. He ran over to the door, and opened to see Jeremy carrying a bag of something.

"What's in the bag?" Asks Michael.

"What no 'hello' or 'how was your day' it's just 'what's in the bag'?" Jeremy faked being hurt. "For shame, Michael!"

"Shut up, you nerd." They both chuckled and Michael let him inside. He could feel the summer heat, and could safely assume that Jeremy was pretending not to die from a heatstroke. "Seriously though, what's in the bag?"

"Oh! I, uh, I got some new games." He set the bag on a nearby table, and pulled out a stack of video game cartridges, and looked at Michael with the dorkiest smile he'd ever given him.

"No way."

"Yes way. Come over here and choose which ones we should play first." They had spread them all out, and strategically tried to find the best one to play first; narrowing down each game one by one.

"Hold on." Michael said. "None of these are opened."

"Oh I just wanted to wait to play these games with you. They're multiplayer so..." Michael flushed. Which was peculiar. It wasn't anything flattering, there should be no point in getting embarrassed. 

"Whoa, whoa wait." Michael grabbed a game sitting right near Jeremy, and his friend seemed to grin at him expectantly. "No. Way." He said once again. Michael held the game up for Jeremy to see.

"If this is what I think it is..." Jeremy's smile became wider. "The new game that everyone's been talking about? The '8 bit zombie adventure'?"

"Apocalypse of the Damned!" They both said simultaneously.

"Jesus, Jeremy, this must have cost a fortune!"

"I've been saving up for the game for a while now." Jeremy said proudly. "Is this the game you wanna play first?"

"This is the game we should play right now." They both ran upstairs to Michael's room and set up the game as fast as possible. The kids had seen ads of the game on tv, and automatically knew that they needed it. Jeremy quickly teared open the cartridge while Michael got the console set up. Finally, Michael put the disk in, and they both hopped on the bed bouncing excitedly. To make the game even better, they had turned off the lights. It's not like the game would be even scarier, given that 8 bit zombies weren't exactly frightening, but it did help make the experience cooler. As Jeremy and Michael stared at the long loading screen, Michael shot a glance at Jeremy.

His eyes always seemed to glimmer with emotion, which, in Michael's opinion, matched perfectly with his smile. He always loved the summer, not just because school was out, but because he would get to see Jeremy act like himself. At school, he was simply the quiet and reserved kid who was pretty average in grades and might have been what people would call a teacher's pet once or twice, but with Michael, he would talk about anything that excited him. He would be able to make jokes and not have to worry about getting picked on, and he would give that amazing and vibrant smile. Almost as if it was saved just for Michael. It was so soft, and whenever he'd see it, his heart would skip a beat.

What was he thinking?

That's probably normal. Michael is absolutely sure that every friend has thought of how attractive the other is. It didn't make him gay, it was just a temporary attraction thing.

"Earth to Michael?" Michael quickly snapped out of his trance. "You okay, man? The game's done loading." Michael felt a blush come from nowhere. He really needed to stop doing that.

"Yeah just zonin' out. You ready?" Jeremy smiled again, and Michael felt his face heat a bit more. "I was born ready!" They started the game, and it was ten times harder than they had anticipated.

Normally, the boys would compete in fighting games like Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat, or maybe just take turns playing single player games, so working as a team in a video game was a foreign concept to the both of them. It, of course, had a single player option, yet Jeremy had waited patiently just to play with Michael. Why did that flatter him so much?

"Michael why'd you walk straight into that zombie?"

"Oh what I thought that was you?" He was really just lost in thought again.

"I'm Player 2, you're Player 1 - I'm blue you're red." He quickly added. Eventually, they had beaten level one, but realized that they probably weren't going to beat the game for some time when the second level had drastically increased in difficulty. They'd need to learn to work together more if it means beating that game.

They tried to choose from the rest of the games that Jeremy had brought. Somehow, they got sidetracked and Jeremy was ranting about their terrible math teacher.

Jeremy was cute.

 _No._ Michael thought to himself. _He's just good looking. It doesn't mean I'm attracted to him._ Jeremy had good features that even Michael knew anyone could swoon for. His hair looked soft in the moonlight, and his eyes seemed to shine brighter than the flickering television screen. Michael's eyes slowly wandered to Jeremy's lips.

Oh shit.

Michael had turned red in an instant. He knew he thought that Jeremy was attractive, but this feeling altogether came out of nowhere.

"Michael? You look pretty red, are you doing alright?"

"Oh shi- I mean- Yeah man, I'm just a little sick." Michael lied.

"Dude you should have told me! If you want I can leave you alone for a bit. Probably getting a headache..."

"What? No!" He said quickly. "No it's fine it'll probably go away in a few minutes."

"...I don't think thats how being sick works."

"Chill, it's probably just allergies." Jeremy looked hesitant. "Go ahead and keep talking about Mr. Heaters or whatever."

"Mr. Peters, Michael, you were literally in my class." But nonetheless, he continued. Michael stared at Jeremy for a little while longer.

 _Jeremy Heere is kind of cute._ He told himself.  _It doesn't mean anything._ Michael secretly knew that it meant a lot of things.


	3. Year Nine

He began to distrust her when they were thirteen.

Of course, Michael hadn't seen her since he was around fourteen or so, but just the thought of her always made him bubble up with anger. Whenever Jeremy would come over to his house, Michael couldn't help but notice small bruises or cuts on his arm. One night, when Jeremy could stay over, he had come with a black eye. Jeremy told him it was just because he had fell, but with each new bruise came a more convoluted excuse.

Normally, Michael would invite Jeremy over, but was surprised to see Jeremy ask him. It was a Friday and nearing the summer. Next year, he would be going to high school, and he would be lying if he said that we wasn't excited (Michael remembers this time, and as a current senior in high school, he misses when he was actually excited for it).

"do you mind if I come over soon" Jeremy's text read.

"yah come on over whenever"

Jeremy came over at around seven.

Michael noticed something was up when Jeremy had barely said anything. Jeremy, before high school, used to talk a lot. It didn't matter what situation they were in, or if nothing fun had happened during the day, Jeremy always had something to say. So when Michael tried to make conversation with him with no definable replies, he could admit that he was just a bit worried.

The normal glow in Jeremy's eyes was gone as well. Instead, he looked tired. His bright vibes and excited energy was gone, and Michael, in the nine years that he had known Jeremy, had never seen him like this.

"Dude I can't wait for the summer... Sleeping in everyday honestly sounds awesome right about now." Michael said.

"Mhm." Jeremy absentmindedly replied.

"Anything you planning on doin' for the summer?" Jeremy simply shook his head in response. This one sided small talk went on for about ten minutes as they both sat in Michael's bedroom doing nothing. After a while, Michael sighed and stood up from his bed.

"We can play video games if you want. Doesn't really require much conversation so..."

"...Video games sounds nice." Jeremy finally said. They both migrated down to where their consoles and such were held. It was originally in his bedroom, but for optimal room (they both moved around while playing, and Jeremy had nearly elbowed Michael in the face twice) they moved it all down to the basement. Two beanbag chairs were set up fairly close to the television while a few game boxes were scattered around the floor. Jeremy had gotten Michael the beanbag chairs for his birthday, and had two others back at his own house as well. He remembered being so excited to use them, he practically dragged Jeremy downstairs right away.

They had played a few rounds of this fighting game that Jeremy was "an absolute beast" at.

Jeremy lost every round.

Michael suggested a co-op games, since they always seemed to work better as a team, or at least a hell of a lot better than when they had first played a multiplayer game, but even then Jeremy wasn't doing so well.

"Do you, uh. Have any games to suggest?" Michael asked. Jeremy stared at the controller. He looked like he was either very lost in thought, or was simply zoning out, but Michael couldn't exactly read minds, so he had no idea what was going on in his best friend's brain at that moment. Michael thought that he should just sit in silence, but it really hurt to see his friend like this.

"Jere are you okay? You seem pretty out of it today." Jeremy didn't say anything. Michael, admittedly, was starting to get scared. "...Jeremy?"

Something in Jeremy's head must have went off, because Michael heard a sniffle. And then another. Jeremy's nose had scrunched as his eyes began to water, and soon enough, Jeremy was trying his best not to look at Michael as he started to sob loudly into his shirt. Obviously panicked, Michael ran up to him, trying his best to console him. He was not very good at it, since all he knew was hugging, but he tried his hardest nonetheless. Jeremy had hugged back and Michael was starting to feel tears on his shoulder.

Closer to Jeremy, Michael noticed several defined scratches on his arm and nearing his face. None bled, but they seemed to be easier to spot from up close.

Jeremy was shaking, but quickly tried to calm himself down. Crying into Michael's shoulder, he had tried to mumble "I'm sorry's" a couple of times, but it only came out as gibberish and hiccups.

"It's uh- It's going to be okay." Slowly, Jeremy's breathing became less erratic, and soon enough, he had let go of Michael looking a bit flushed and seemingly embarrassed of what just happened as he still hiccuped now and again. "You good?" Michael asked, his hand placed on Jeremy's shoulder. Refusing to make eye contact, he simply nodded as he tried to wipe the tears from his eyes. "Do you wanna talk about it, or...?" He tensed up.

"I dunno if i should." Jeremy winced as his hiccups interrupted him a couple of times.

"Why?"

"I might get in trouble..."

"Dude." Michael tried to give a reassuring smile. "I'm not like, a therapist or whatever but like, it's still nice to have someone listen. And it's not like I'll tell anybody anyway, so." Jeremy finally braved a look at Michael. His eyes were red and he looked exhausted. So many things could have been buzzing in that boy's head, but Michael couldn't have guessed what he could have been thinking. After a few seconds, Jeremy took a deep breath, and told him everything.

Everything. It wasn't what Michael had expected.

He told him about his mother. Her unhealthy ways of coping with anger and grief. The days where she would simply sleep the entire time, and the nights she would get too drunk to think. He told him about the things his mother would do if he wasn't absolutely perfect, which finally explained the cuts and bruises. It also explained why Jeremy was always so nervous, or would jump a lot. Michael had always figured this was just Jeremy being Jeremy, but it finally made more sense.

Jeremy's mother never wanted a kid, and yet there he was. Her mood and personality seemed to change only a few years ago from grumpy to violent, and she would often tipsily threaten to leave unless she got what she wanted. Jeremy was most definitely afraid of his mother, so he'd always hope that Michael would ask him to come over. She'd always get angry at the smallest things, like if Jeremy asked too many questions, or if he stuttered way too much in a sentence. If she wasn't drunk, she was most likely asleep.

After he finished, there was a long silence. Jeremy's sniffles were getting quiter. Jeremy was quiet and he looked very soft. His cheeks were flushed and he still seemed to be trying avoid Michael's eyes. He didn't know what to say; neither of them did. Michael felt as if he should be mad, but he was honestly simply shocked. He didn't think something as serious as that was happening to his friend, and now that it was, he didn't know what to do.

"Just please not- Don't tell anybody." Jeremy begged.

"...I'm sorry man, but shouldn't someone know about this? This is a super serious issue and-"

"No! I'll be fine! I _am_ fine!"

"Jeremy..."

"Please?" Yet another silence.

"Okay just- please- whenever you need to just come over. Try to text back often. Sneak over here if you need to, I just need to know that you're safe." Jeremy's eyes started to water again, but to Michael's surprise there was a small smile on his face.

"Gee, thanks mom." Probably not the joke Michael had expected, but nonetheless he played along.

"Yep thats right. I'm your new mom now. Clean your room, Jere-Bear."

"Oh my god! Don't ever call me that again!" He was laughing again. Thank god.

"Whatever, Jere-Bear." Michael put an arm around Jeremy. "Hey do you want a Street Fighter rematch?"

"Oh yeah you're on!"

Jeremy won every round


	4. Year Twelve

His heart broke when he was sixteen.

He just stood there. He felt broken. He didn't feel real. When he had entered the bathroom, it felt big. Bigger than an average bathroom would be, but that's to be expected for one of the richest kids in the school. However, now, when he was all alone for the first time in what he thought was years, the bathroom felt as if it was slowly closing in on him. He just stood there.

Michael knew how many people where outside his door having a good time. Half of the entire school was out there. _He_ was out there. Michael had never liked parties. Or people. Or party people. And yet, despite all that, he came to the biggest party he'd ever see in his life, and managed to end up in a bathroom. He ended up in a bathroom at a party like this. And for once in his life, Jeremy wasn't there. Jeremy wasn't there to console him, Jeremy wasn't there to attempt to make a dumb joke to calm him down, Jeremy was simply the one who left him in there in the first place. For the first time, Jeremy left him by himself.

He never remembered sitting down, and yet he was leaning on the bathroom door, sitting on the cold tile floor.

Part of him knew this was going to happen eventually. Everyday he just thought _this was too good to be true_ , but for some reason he had always hoped for the best. He had hoped maybe what the both of them had been through together was enough to maintain their friendship. He shouldn't have hoped.

He never remembered when he started crying, and yet he was sobbing with his head in his hands, lost in thought and regret.

For some reason, he was able to think of every little detail. He could remember the exact time he had gotten to the house, the color of the person he'd sit next to during biology's book bag color. And yet, he was drawing a blank. He couldn't think at all about anything important, it was almost as if his brain had shut off and all he could focus on was the steady beat of the muffled solid stereo and the small talk of the kids outside. He tried to see if he could hear Jeremy. He decided he didn't want to. He was starting to get a headache.

He never remembered his sobbing getting any louder, but it did. He panicked and worried that his crying will attract attention, so he tried to stifle it and ended up making a choking-like sound.

He needed to move. He at least wanted to move, or get up, or do anything. He just didn't want to be doing this. He wanted to be at home. Maybe watching tv or just sleeping or literally anything else, but this was a terrible feeling. Then again, if he had went home, he would have been just as alone. Just as lonely. He wouldn't ask for him to come over anymore, he wouldn't tease him for something he had stuttered out, he would just be by himself. He could possibly sleep it out, but he knew he would feel worse in the morning. Sleeping would be better than being awake.

He never remembered standing up, and yet he somehow managed to end up standing in front of the bathroom mirror.

Someone started to knock on the door.

Michael didn't remember if he locked the door, but he prayed that he did. The person knocked again, and tried to open the door, but it rattled.

Thank god.

He needed to say something.

"I'll, uh, be out in a sec." He winced as the hiccups seemed to interrupt him. The knocking stopped. He tried to calm himself down. He splashed water on his face, tried to breathe, and reached to open the door, but the knocking stopped. He could only guess out of pity. It was apparent that he had been crying, even if someone couldn't see him. His voice was quavering and weak.

He never remembered the time flying by, but it did. He had gotten there at 8:30, but it was now 9:45.

He remembers when he and Jeremy had played their first multiplayer game. It was a stupid memory to resurface, but it did and he remembers the fact that they were terrible. It was at an easy level, and yet they thought it was terribly difficult. If they had replayed it now, they would have beaten it in seconds. But they can't. And they wont.

Michael let the words of their conversation echo in his brain.

_"I think that you're jealous that a pill helped me better in three weeks than you ever did in twelve years."_

He originally thought it was the heat of the moment, but honestly he was right. He was terrible. The only person he could ever talk to was Jeremy, and he was gone. He was pathetic. It's no wonder he left; there were so much better and cooler people than him, and yet he can't even defend himself, let alone Jeremy. He's...

He could never forget the exact thing that set him off.

He was crying, and then eventually sobbing. He remembers wishing to be anywhere else but there, to never have existed. He remembers collapsing to the ground and sobbing even louder. When he was done he just sat there, and let time pass. He looked as if he were zoning out. He didn't even realize, but it was 10:30 or so.

And then there was a fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so tired send help.


	5. Year Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it one in the morning when I finished the last chapter? Beat my record; its three am over here.

He had confessed on his seventeenth birthday.

At first, Jeremy thought that he would only need to panic about what gift to give him, even though it was never really a problem since Jeremy knew Michael better than Michael. But then Rich suggested an idea on a present. Jeremy nearly choked on his drink.

"I-You-He's-We're-"

"It's okay take your time." Says Jake sipping his coffee and doing his math homework as quickly as possible. They were all in the school cafeteria. Tables were aligned in rows, kids conversing while stuffing their faces with food before classes would start. The group, however, sat at the table empty handed.

"I-It's not! Like that." Jeremy stuttered. "I don't like him!"

"We know. You love him." Rich put his arm around Jake's waist casually, but Jake was too tired and focused on his homework to care. "That's why you need to confess."

"No!" His ears tinged with a light red. "You know what I meant!"

"Listen." Chloe joined in, but was only paying attention to what was on her phone. "If the boy who's five foot nothing and has a lisp can score a boyfriend who's pretty okay looking before you can, I think that's a bit of a problem." She got up and started to leave. "I have to pick Brooke up. She overslept." And she walked out of the cafeteria.

"...She did have a point y'know." Rich shrugged. Christine joined in. God where was everybody coming from.

"Guys come off it! There's just the possibility that they both only like each other as friends-" Then she started to laugh. "Okay okay I'm sorry I couldn't say that with a straight face." Rich mouthed the words _'And she's in drama'_ behind her.

"Christine!"

"I'm sorry Jeremy!" Christine said. "Still though, Rich's idea wasn't that bad! I'm sure Michael would love to hear that you liked him! On his birthday especially!"

"Would he? Or would it just ruin our relationship forever, making everything awkward and we'd never talk to each other the same way ever again, because I think that's a more realistic scenario!"

"Okay..." Said Jake finally looking away from his homework. "But you _did_ kind of tell us that you liked him."

"I don't!"

"Jeremy you literally just did." Rich said.

"I didn't!"

"Oh oh! I'm really good friends with Jenna I'm sure she'll tell him for you-"

 _"No."_ Jeremy interrupted Christine. He sighed. "Listen I'm thankful for you guys all helping me out and all, but I'd much rather live a happy lie than... than a sad truth."

"...That's pretty fuckin' deep." Said Rich at last.

"Which video game do you think he's quoting?" Jake said as they both snickered. Christine seemed to ignore the both of them.

"I guess we can't force you to do anything, but I really think that you should tell him something eventually..." She was uncharacteristically quiet. Jeremy looked away.

"I might soon. I'd just rather him not know right now."

"Rather who know what now?" Michael stood in front of the lunch table. He held his book bag on his shoulder, one strap simply hanging lazily. His headphones hung around his neck quietly playing music that Jeremy didn't recognize.  

"Oh uh...?" Jeremy gaped.

"It's a secret. You'll know soon." Jake shrugged. Michael seemed confused, but then a smile creeped on his face.

"Oho I get it! Cause it's my- yeah." He made a clicking sound and made a finger guns hands gesture to the group of kids sitting at the table. He dropped a bag of food on the table. Everyone immediately perked up in excitement. "I got McDonalds while I was out for you guys. I had no idea what you guys wanted though, so I just ordered random stuff off of the menu."

"Aw hell yeah I'll eat it anyway!" Rich reached for the bag of food.

"Toss me somethin' too, babe. Surprise me." Jake said gong back to his homework.

"Where's Brooke and Chloe?" Michael asked.

"Chloe went to pick Brooke up from her house."

"Damn she overslept again?" Michael looked at the coffee tray he held in his hand. "Literally the only thing that I knew they would like was the coffee and they're not even here."

"Jeremy are you going to eat something?" Christine asked, snapping Jeremy back into focus.

"What? Oh no I'm not hungry."

"If you say so, but you gotta eat eventually." Michael shrugged. He pulled out his phone. "Aw okay I figured I came here late. The bells about to ring guys." Jake and Rich looked longingly at the warm fast food.

"You know that there are microwaves right?" Jeremy said. "You can literally just eat it later."

"Yo but I didn't eat shit yet." Rich said. "I'll be thinking of food the entire day."

The bell, as promised, rang and all of the students started to get their things ready for first period.

"I got chemistry first, so I'll just meet you in World History as usual?" Michael asked.

"Yeah of course." Michael walked away, and Jeremy was about to follow suit, until he felt a warm hand grab his wrist. He nearly jumped out of his skin, until he realized it was Christine. She was bouncing on the balls of her feet, but she looked a bit nervous as she was biting her lip and sweating a bit. "Christine, you okay?" She peered behind him until she confirmed that Michael was gone.

 "I really, really,  _really_ shouldn't be telling you this, but I really, really, _really_ think that you should tell Michael." She said quickly. Jeremy made no point in arguing with her anymore. He did kind of like Michael, but it was nothing too big. He doesn't remember when he started to fall in love with him, but before Jeremy knew it, he was sort of head over heels for his best friend. Which was the main problem. He didn't want to risk ruining his friendship again, but Christine seemed to strongly believe that telling him was a good idea. It would definitely get a big weight off of his shoulders.  

"...Yeah I mean I will eventually."

"But also I think you should do it at his party tonight."

"But- okay yeah maybe- I think that's just a little bit out of my comfort zone." Jeremy chuckled nervously. "I mean, when he tells me that he doesn't like me back, its just going to be really uncomfortable and I'll probably ruin his big night."

"But! He-" Christine groaned as she looked like she was seconds from pulling her hair out. She seemed to desperately want to tell him something. "Jeremy, I promise you that nothing bad will happen if you tell him. 100 percent sure!" Which was unlike her to be so sure on something. She'd normally give exact percentages such as 78 percent or maybe 56 percent, so this gave him a small bit of hope.

"...Okay." Jeremy said finally. "I'll do it, but if anything happens I'm mega-blaming it on you."

"Wait so you'll tell him?" Christine asked almost incredulously.

"Yeah. Now let me go; I gotta get to Biology." Christine nodded with one of the largest smiles he'd ever seen and he walked to his next class. Little did Jeremy know that Christine was dancing and hopping to her first period class.

* * *

Jeremy had been shaking the entire day. He hadn't really meant to say that he'd do it, but he couldn't say no to her. He thought that he would tell her during lunch that he couldn't possibly have the courage to tell Michael anything, but she kept on rambling about how proud she was that Jeremy was going to do something so major, so now he ultimately didn't have a choice. Michael was confused the entire lunch period on what she was rambling on about, but luckily he assumed it was birthday shenanigans and happily sipped a soda he had bought earlier. The hours ticked by during school, and the closer it got to the end of the day, the more rapid his heart would beat.

They were going to have the party at Christine's house. Jeremy was a bit hesitant to have a party in the first place, since Michael never did well with them, but the group had promised that it would be just them going. Jeremy was also just a bit bitter. Every year, the boys would simply hang out for the night and watch movies and whatnot. All Michael's choice. Since the group of kids found out about Michael's birthday however, they were insistent on celebrating together. And to Jeremy's surprise, Michael was excited for it. Of course, this was the first time that someone had remembered his birthday other than Jeremy, so if you connect the dots it did make sense.

Soon enough, Jeremy had decided to walk home from school instead of taking the bus. It would buy him more time to think about what he would say. He couldn't just waltz up to Michael without a plan after all. He supposes he could simply not tell him at all, but you could not underestimate Christine. She will know. Maybe if he just said it quick enough, like ripping off a bandaid, he could just get it over with. After what seemed like only two minutes but was actually fifteen, he had arrived home. He felt sweat drip down his back, but he couldn't tell if it was because of the heat or if he was nervous.

 _Calm down Jeremy._ He thought to himself.  _You still have an hour._  

An hour didn't seem long enough.

His father asked if he needed him to drive Jeremy to the party, but Jeremy declined. He decided that having your father drive you to a party would not be the best definition of cool. Not that he cared all that much about being cool anymore, but he still did have a little bit of dignity he wanted to keep. Christine's house was only a few blocks away, but he knew that if he made an attempt to walk over there, he'd smell and look horrible. He didn't want to risk that tonight. He wasn't much of a risk taker anyway.

When he had arrived to the house, he felt his heart hammering in his head, but tried to calm it down by taking a few breaths.

"Hey Jeremy!" Said Rich from behind him.

"GaH- Oh! Hey uh- Hey Rich." Jeremy heaved a sigh.

"Jesus you don't look so hot." Jake said. He had parked his car behind Jeremy's and walked over after he slammed the car door shut.

"Heheh... I'll say..." Jeremy rubbed his arm. Rich and Jake looked at each other questioningly, but they both shrugged.

"Yo, but you ready for the party?" Rich asked with a grin. "If you can even count this as one. It's more of, like, a hang out sesh."

"Oh yeah, uh. Yeah I'm ready. Super ready." Jeremy was a mess.

"Uh. Okay?" Said Jake. "Let's roll."

Christine's house wasn't as big as Jake's (previous) house or maybe even Jeremy's, but he supposes that her house wasn't exactly made for partying. The front door led to the living room of the house, in which Christine, Chloe, Brooke, and Michael already stayed in.

"Oh thank god you guys are here." Michael's face seemed a bit red, and he looked relieved as the three of them had walked in. He was sitting on the floor as the group of girls sat on the couch. The girls seemed to be in the middle of a conversation, but seemed to have immediately stopped when the three boys walked into the room. 

"What's goin' on. Why does it look like an interrogation?" Rich chuckled.

"Oh you know. Deep shit. You wouldn't understand, Rich." Brooke said as she leaned back on the couch.

"Hell yeah I wouldn't!" Rich ran towards the couch and jumped on it, startling the three girls on it.

"Jesus Rich!" Chloe said scooting over.  Rich seemed proud of himself as Jake sluggishly moved over to Rich and sat down. Jeremy moved towards Michael.

"Yeah uh, what were they talking about though."

"Things that a normal man shouldn't dwell on." Michael sighed. "Seriously, don't ask."

Jeremy, and he could assume that everyone else as well, hadn't expected the party to go well. They first watched a few movies, and the girls had wanted to play truth or dare, but the guys simply wanted to finish their horror movies. Even then, they all seemed to be having fun as they all talked about small things like the chemistry homework that Brooke didn't know about, or that one time Jake had so many energy drinks that he couldn't sleep for two days. It was honestly a nice change from the lonely birthdays Michael would have with Jeremy, but he still did feel a twinge of guilt every time he realized that he wanted to have Michael to himself.

Speaking of which he didn't think he had the stomach to confess.

Christine would look expectingly at Jeremy, whenever he was talking to Michael, but whenever Jeremy tried, a new conversation topic not at all relating to romance came out of his mouth. Jeremy would mouth the words _I can't_ whenever Michael would turn away, but she would always give a thumbs up and say  _Yes you can!_

Could he?

He and Michael were talking about a new ad about a first person shooter they had both saw on tv. Jeremy glanced behind Michael. Rich and Christine were desperately trying to get his attention, and when they saw that Jeremy was looking, they seemed to want to whoop for joy. Christine pointed at her wrists while Rich silently pulled his phone out. 8:50. They were supposed to leave at 9. Jeremy internally panicked as he realized that he might not be able to get his confession out. He promised Christine, and he couldn't just throw something like this away. He looked at Michael.

Whenever he'd get absorbed in a conversation that he was interested in, Jeremy always felt hypnotized listening to his voice. It sounded like music, and he honestly would never get tired of hearing it. He desperately wanted to tell Michael this, but something in his head kept telling him that Michael deserved better. And honestly, he believed it.

He'd have to tell him later. Maybe in a few days, or a week or maybe next year. He didn't really want to risk ruining Michael's night anyway. He looked like he was having fun. He looked phenomenal, but that was besides the point. Jeremy started to relax as he realized that he had more time.

"Hey." Chloe walked over to both Michael and Jeremy.

"Oh hey." Michael finally stopped talking. "What's up?"

"Jeremy has something he wants to tell you."

_Oh my god._

Michael seemed a bit confused.

"Really?" He asked Jeremy.

"I-I. Uh." He looked at Chloe. She simply gave him a look that clearly said good luck. He looked over to Rich and Christine. They were dancing for joy, seemingly glad that Chloe had stepped up for him. "Yeah, uh. Yeah actually."

"Oh well what's up?"

"Actually can we do it alone?" Jeremy said quickly.

"Um. Okay?" Michael stuffed his hands in his pockets. Jeremy knew that he'd made Michael either uncomfortable or nervous and mentally cursed. He didn't think he was ready for this, and yet there he was, walking with Michael to the empty kitchen.

The room seemed a lot smaller than any of the other rooms in the house, but it still had food spread around the table. Bottles of soda were stuffed in the trash can. "Okay. _Now_ what's up." He chuckled nervously. He was fidgeting with his hoodie strings and he gave a nervous smile that melted Jeremy's heart.

"Uh well." Jeremy said. There was no way he could back out of this now. He had prepared himself for this for god knows how long, and he was finally standing there. He tried to search for words, but his mind was drawing a blank. "Uh..." He tried to say it, but every time he'd look at Michael, he'd lose himself again. He really needed to do this. He wanted this for a long time, but now when the time came, he couldn't speak. He needed to say something. Anything.

"I just wanted to say..." Jeremy rubbed the back of his neck. "Happy birthday. I know it sounds cheesy, but you've been a great friend." He couldn't.

Michael's nervous smile turned genuine as he heard the words topple from Jeremy's mouth.

"Damn I didn't expect you to get all sentimental there." He chuckled. "Thanks man. Really it means a lot." Jeremy figured that this was enough. Risking twelve years of friendship over a silly crush was ridiculous. Jeremy nervously chuckled as a reply. "Was that all you needed?"

No.

"Yeah." Michael playfully ruffled Jeremy's hair and walked towards the door. At least he made an effort. Michael was standing in front of the door. He guesses that things could have gone worse. A lot worse. In fact, millions of scenarios were running through his head. Michael had his hand on the doorknob.

"Michael, I love you."

Michael removed his hand from the doorknob. He turned around and stared at Jeremy incredulously.

"Like." He was quiet. "Like platonically, or...?"

"No- well yes? Yes and no." He stammered. "Like I like you as a- a friend but also like. More? God this sounds terrible I'm sorry." The more he'd try to talk, the redder he seemed to get. He didn't mean to say anything, yet it somehow slipped out. "Okay actually. Just maybe? Try to forget I said anything." He couldn't read Michael's face. 

Michael opened his mouth to speak.

"Nope." Jeremy interrupted. "Don't even say anything. Just- I guess- this wont ruin our friendship or anything, right? Okay well I guess you need to talk to answer." 

Michael smiled and shook his head.

"Like as in. No it wont, or no it will?" Jeremy asked. Michael gave him a look. "Alright just- sorry for probably making this awkward." Michael walked towards Jeremy. "Wait I lost track of time when were we supposed-"

They had kissed.

Jeremy felt Michael's lips on his own, and felt his heart nearly stop. He fantasized this exact scenario in his head so many times, but to actually have it happen was mind blowing. Jeremy felt Michael's hands on his hips as Jeremy wrapped his arms around Michael's neck. He tried his best to kiss back. He's never actually done it before, which was extremely believable. It was messy, but Jeremy loved every second of it. When they finally pulled back, Jeremy was speechless.

"...Wow" It was all that came out of Jeremy's mouth.

"Wow." Michael replied. "I'm going to be honest, I didn't think I'd ever do that."

"Me neither?" They stared at each other for a moment before both giggling. "Does that mean, like, y'know. You like me back?"

"Jeremy." Michael raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"I just needed clarification!" Michael laughed, and Jeremy felt like he was weightless. Michael actually _loved_ him too. It was a good night. "Is it too early to say that I love you again?"

"My dude, you can always say that." They kissed again.

They both were blissfully unaware of the fact that the kids were piled against the door, seemingly trying to listen to the conversation. Christine had hooked them up. Jenna Rolan owed her ten dollars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> If you have a question, or simply want to freak out, hit me up at my blog.  
> https://quantumnanotech.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> Again, very short. This story is only a "I'm bored, but hey I'm writing something so I'll hope that other people will read it too". It might get buried under the countless stories in this fandom, but nonetheless I had fun writing so I hope you will enjoy reading.


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